CREWLESS PRODUCTIONS PRESS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: JAN. 9, 2003
CONTACT: CHANCE SHIRLEY, (205) 427-2850
WEB SITE: WWW.CREWLESS.COM


*** CREWLESS PRODUCTIONS ANNOUNCES BIRTH OF ANOTHER CLONED HUMAN ***

Chuck Hartsell, co-owner of Crewless Productions, revealed earlier today his company's role in the birth of a human clone.

"Chance (Shirley, Crewless co-owner) and I cloned a few embryos as part of research for a script we were writing. We left them in my Frigidaire at home, planning to eventually donate them to science. Or something."

Hartsell continued. "A few months ago, I realized one of the embryos had been stolen. Then, last week, I got a call from my former housekeeper. She apologized for stealing the embryo, but thanked me for the healthy baby boy she'd just given birth to."

"She assumed the embryo she stole was of the regular, old-fashioned variety. Actually, the child is a clone of Patrick Sheehan, who handled post-production sound on our last two short films (*The Seven Year Switch* and *Reciprocity*)."

Does the clone look any different from other infants? "It looks kinda like the baby from *It's Alive*," Hartsell answered. "Not bad for our first clone."

"Seriously," Shirley interrupted. "It looks exactly like Patrick Sheehan. Only smaller. With less facial hair."

Crewless, based in Birmingham, Alabama, has previously been known only for independent movie production. In light of this amazing announcement, should the public expect to see Crewless leave the entertainment business for the lucrative biotech industry?

"Doubtful," Shirley said. "I mean, it's just cloning. If those assclowns at Clonaid can do it, anybody can. Really not that big of a deal. I'm a lot more interested in finishing up this script I'm working on and shooting another movie."

A movie about cloning?

"Nah," Shirley said. "That cloning script never went anywhere. And Sony kind of killed the market for that sort of thing with *The 6th Day*. On the other hand, *Episode II* made a few bucks..."

The identity of the Crewless clone is being kept secret, out of respect for the privacy of baby Patrick and his family. The latest film from Crewless, *Reciprocity* is currently being considered for exhibition by several festivals. The movie's next screening will be on Jan. 28, 2003, at the WorkPlay theatre in Birmingham, AL.